NOTHING. Okay, that was a little aggressive…I have just seen so many of those posts that say “10 things you should expect from your boyfriend” or “you know he loves you if he does these things.” I think that is so ridiculous.
It’s horrible to hold every single husband, boyfriend, or significant other to the same exact standard. Not everyone is the same. Not everyone has the same strengths. Not everyone grew up the same. Not everyone has the same role models to look up to. Not every relationship is the same.
Some random BuzzFeed article telling you to dump your significant other does not mean you should. Don’t compare your relationship to other peoples, OR to the random articles you read on the internet.
Yes, some of the things they state are very good things! Maybe they are things you can work on together. No one is perfect and chances are you love isn’t either. Don’t hold them to an impossible standard. Are you doing all those things for them? Take a look at yourself first. If you aren’t doing every single thing on that list then you can’t expect them to. Holding each other to ridiculous standards will just make you both unhappy.
It is more important to show your love for each other, be faithful to one other, and be someone they can trust. The little extra things they do are bonuses! If there is something you need from the other person, sit down and talk about it. If he doesn’t bring you home flowers every other week, but he does take you to a nice dinner once a week, doesn’t that kind of cancel the other one out? Pay attention to your own relationship! Pay attention to the things he DOES do! Learn about each other. Learn each other’s strengths. Learn each other’s weaknesses. Help one another. Talk to each other to learn what the other needs.
// Pay attention to your own relationship!
// Pay attention to the things he DOES do!
// Learn about each other.
// Learn each other’s strengths.
// Learn each other’s weaknesses.
// Help one another.
// Talk to each other to learn what the other needs.
For Hamilton and I, we need very different things. He needs me to listen to him and to listen to his music. He needs me to be actively participating in conversations with him. He needs me to make dinners throughout the week. He needs me to do the laundry. For me, I need him to cuddle with me. I need him to do the dishes. I need him to text me in the mornings. I need him to show me he loves me. I need him to get me little gifts once in a while (like flowers, chocolate, tiny things.) Maybe these sound silly because they are such small things, but they work for us and make us both very happy.
It is much more important to learn each other. Learn what the other person loves and what maybe they don’t really need or don’t really respond to.
Stop living your life through random articles on the internet. A lot of times they have some bits that are really great, but overall, they tend to teach impossible things. Again, no one is perfect! It is so unfair to hold each other to impossible standards. Yes, have high standards. Know what you want and don’t settle for less. But also understand that some people work differently. Recognize what the other person’s strengths are instead of only highlighting their weaknesses.
For Hamilton, he is amazing at communication. He excels at motivating me to be better. He has such strong faith. He is a hard worker I know. He will clean the house when I am having a bad week. These are things I need to learn. He is teaching me, while I am teaching him.
Learn your own relationship! Talk to each other. Come up with your own list of things to work on together. Do all of this with love, always. If you can just communicate and learn each other through love, you will have a much happier relationship! Plus, you’ll be growing and getting stronger together.