Tips for When You Aren’t Feeling as Loved by Your Spouse

Love is so much more than an emotion. It is a feeling, a knowledge, and an experience. It is something you have to work for constantly and if you don’t, those feelings will start to slowly fall away.

There are times when we aren’t going to feel as loved as we did the week or day before. We will all have days when we are down or when our spouse is feeling down. There are so many things that affect us outside our home that it is bound to affect us inside the home as well. It is important to have things in your arsenal for when these times hit.

1. Communicate with your spouse how you are feeling. No one is perfect and chances are they don’t know they are making you feel that way. If you can communicate that to them, without being harsh or using “you” statements, your relationship will grow and become even stronger. If I ever get this feeling I quietly go to Hamilton and just tell him exactly how and what I am feeling. He automatically tells me all the things he loves about me and it, in turn, makes me feel so much better (and kind of silly.)

2. Plan date nights that make you feel the love – long walks, hiking, camping, swimming, beach day, movie night, dinner date, whatever it is you and your SO like to do. Try to do this weekly. I notice myself feeling a lack of love when we aren’t doing our weekly dates. We did so well at this at the beginning of our marriage. It is easy to forget to actually make time for dates. Sometimes I think it isn’t necessary, but then we start to get into a rut and we don’t seem to be growing together. That’s when I know we need to starting “dating” again. We have picked it back up again and honestly, I couldn’t give any other advice to a new or struggling couple. Date your SO. It is so important and something I know helps us so much! We argue less and communication more and have so much more love when we are doing this weekly or more.

3. Show extra love to your spouse. Chances are they will reciprocate. When we first got married we would write cute little love notes for each other and hide them places in random places. Find something cute and little that really shows the love. I will sometimes stop at the drugstore on my way home and just get Hamilton a really cheesy and cute card. He knows I love little gifts and snacks so sometimes he will bring me home a special treat. Those are really tiny things, but for us, they mean so much.

4. Plan a weekend trip. It is so important to take little (or big) trips alone with one another. This always helps us a TON. If we get into a little rut when we are having little meaningless spats often, we go on a trip. We will have those memories to look back on forever. Some of my favorite memories ever are the ones from spontaneous weekend trips. We both love the outdoors so our trips are always so fun and adventurous! We just pick a place we want to go to and find somewhere to camp nearby.

5. Recreate your favorite date or one of your favorite trips. This one can be difficult. I can’t recreate my favorite date because we don’t live in the same town anymore and what we did we could have gotten into a litttttle bit of trouble for haha but we can do similar things! I think this is such a fun and good idea! It would be such a good reminder of some of your fav memories. I think reminiscing is important too because it reminds us how we got to where we are today. Hamilton and I are pretty lucky. We haven’t had many struggles for us as a couple but we have had to deal with a lot of things in (my) family and personal life. He has always been there for me and those are the memories I hold close to my heart because they helped me get through so many trials in my life.

These are some of my tried and true ways to feel the love. We have worked really hard to get where we are and are continually growing every single day. We are both constantly changing so of course, our relationship is changing. I know these things really have helped us both during the times we really need it the most!

I hope you all like these little marriage/relationship/love posts. I really love to write them because this is the most important relationship I have and the one that will evolve so much with time. I think it is so amazing that we are so young because we get to grow and learn and have so many fun adventures together.

I’m working on another post currently about young marriages and I’m really excited about it!

Let me know if there is anything specific you all want to hear or know! I absolutely love hearing from you all 🙂

 

xoxo, Jacquelyn

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